What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

For the last month or so I have had very depressing thoughts. I don't want to. I am totally against thinking that way, but sometimes it doesn't seem to matter how hard you try not to. You just feel crummy sometimes. Life isn't easy. Its full of disappointments, regrets, stress and problems. Unfortunately, the bad seems to outweigh the good sometimes. 

But you know what? 

That's life and I am not the only one who has problems. Life knocks you down sometimes. Actually it knocks you down a lot. You just have to get back up and keep going, because that's the only option. Crying and whining about how much your life sucks will get you no where. In fact, its only going to push people away. No one likes to be around the person that is always sad and depressed. Now I am not saying that you won't feel sad and depressed sometimes, but when you are like that all the time, you aren't only sucking the life out of yourself. You are sucking the life out of everyone around you. 

So this is why I keep my sad and depressing thoughts to myself for the most part. I know that most times they will eventually pass. So what is the point in dragging everyone else down with me? Life does suck sometimes, yes. But you have to remember that whatever it is you are going through, most times there is someone else out there with a much worse problem. 

Do you have food to eat? A roof over your head? People who love you? If you said yes to any of those you have a reason to live. Some don't have any of these things. So if you are moping around and feeling sorry for yourself, remember the things you have to be thankful for.

Click below to hear a great motivational song :)
Kelly Clarkson - Stronger

I plead temporary insanity ..

This 'no smoking' thing sucks! The sad thing is that I don't even want a cigarette at this point. I just feel like shit... irritable, angry, pessimistic and I feel that I am developing a headache.

This is only day 4 so I still have a few more days before I feel normal again. Usually after the first week I'm good. Yes, unfortunately I've put myself through this before. More than once infact. Its beyond me why I have put myself through this so many times. I truely hope I can quit for real this time.

~twitches~

Craving...

Extra Moist Jalapeno Cornbread Recipe - Food.com - 184564

A Brick Wall

I have always been a very easy person to get along with. I am not trying to brag on myself, but when someone needs me and its possible for me to be there for them, I'm there. I also like simplicity. The more complicated you make things or the more you over think things, the higher the chance that it is going to cause you a problem even if there isn't one. 

Now, because of these two things, when I do happen to get into an argument with someone, I don't like to let it spin out of control or bring up a bunch of pointless crap that has nothing to do with the argument. I like to state the facts and the reason why I feel the way I do without saying things that I will later regret. Now this is not to say that I haven't done that before, but I usually try not to demean the other person while arguing with them. First of all, usually the reason for the argument is something minor and its not worth ruining a whole friendship/relationship with someone. Second, once you say something you can never take it back completely. You can apologize and the person might even tell you its ok, but they will never forget you said something extremely hurtful to them.

Now there are some people in the world though, that no matter what way you try speaking to them you cant not make them understand or even consider what you are saying. They will not admit they are wrong no matter how much the facts stack up against them. You can not reason with them. You can't talk to them. Literally everything said to them is a waste of breath, because they are so hard headed. The don't care if they are putting a friendship in jeopardy, because they are right, by golly!

So I have decided, I don't need people in my life that are like this. I am not wasting my energy on this kind of crap. Life is too short. I know I am good person and I always try to do the right thing when life happens. So I am not letting one person make me feel less of myself. 

So as of now, I am done kissing anyone's ass. You are either my friend or you aren't. If you can't respect me for who I am and what I have to say here, then you obviously were never my friend in the first place.

Cigarette Free Insomniac

Its 2:56 am and I am wide awake....

 I went through this exact same thing last night. I feel tired when I first decide to go to bed. Then 5 minutes after I am actually in bed, I'm wide freaking awake. I close my eyes and try to drift away. I even feel like I can some of the time, but it never fails that I find my eyes popping open again. 

I think I know the reasoning for this right now though. Its a lil thing called......

Quitting Smoking.

Apparently 24 hours or even 48 hours after a cigarette it causes me to be restless at bedtime. I can't get comfortable and I cant relax. Now for the record, I am not giving in. As much as I love smoking, I have got to give up the habit. I am almost 28 years old and its time to grow up and start thinking about my health. Yes, those stupid 'smoking is bad for you' commercials have starting getting to me. I personally do not want to die of lung cancer or have to have part of my throat cut out, so I am quitting. I must say though, that quitting smoking is one of the hardest things in life to accomplish. I wish I had never started. 

And for people who don't smoke...

DON'T

EVER

START

Once you start it will be a battle to go without for the rest of your life I swear.

So other than being restless, sleepless, nervous, frustrated mess.... I am awesome! LOL

Moving on up..

I haven't been on here in forever. I think my last post is from over a year ago. Since my last post, we have moved from the crappy old house to a nicer apartment. The move totally sucked. Somehow we ended up moving on the hottest weekend of the summer. I must say that for Indiana, summer has been hell. We have had many 100 degree (plus) days and on the day we moved it got up to 106. Bleh! 

James has also gotten a promotion. He went from a Zone Merchandising Supervisor to an Assistant Manager. Its definitely helped us financially. The crappy part is that he is on overnights. The good part though, is that he gets 4 days on/4 days off. So that's nice. Although I am positive that it won't stay this way from probably October until January, due to the holidays. I'm sure it will be more like 5 days on/2 days off. 

For the most part though, we are doing well, other than life's day to day problems. I would say that we are quite blessed for the most part. Yeah, we aren't rich, but we have each other and and tons to be thankful for. So I am just taking one day at a time for the time being. I just thank God for every day that I am alive and breathing, not in pain or starving.. I have a roof over my head and that is more than some can say. Life has its challenges, but I know that as long as I remain humble and thankful to God I will be fine.